Broken Visage?

During many midnight conversations
You would claim that I was a mess
As I often struggled to find the right words for the moment
The right thoughts to embrace
Yet, some feelings were quite evident
And, the matching words tangible
Hours to minutes
Minutes to seconds
Happiness to sadness
Emptiness sets in

Now, my mind is stuck in a sea of confusion
And every time I look at you, my turmoil grows
Inside, I know my feelings are true
And, thoughts of long conversations reign
Simple smiles radiate from the smallest things
The subtle way you would hint at the darkness
The randomness of your moods
You being you

I often wonder what you think
What you feel inside this broken visage
Is it worse than I?
Can happiness transcend the strife?
Can the anguish be replaced by the missing laughter?
I realize now the pain I cause can overwhelm reality
Life’s complications turning the brightest stars to dust
The brilliance of your eyes engulfed in pain
What once could be, is now but a forgotten shiver
Powering the blackness that consumes me
Shaping my every thought and desire

I have come to terms with my demons
With the feelings that haunt my life
I wish things could be different
I wish we could be again
I have faced my saddest fears and in them, I saw the path to ecstasy
A path you could see if you ventured deep within my bounds
I miss our many midnight discussions
And, yes, I may be a mess
But, I want to be your mess